Talking to your spouse about a divorce isn’t necessarily going to be easy. But there may come a point where the two of you just need to have this conversation so that you can begin moving forward and addressing things like child custody rights or property division.
Your goal may be to make the conversation go as smoothly and effectively as possible. You’re hoping to have a low-conflict divorce, and the way that you break the news is going to play into that. Below are some tips that can help.
Be empathetic
Even if you are angry with your spouse, it’s often good to be empathetic and understand that this may be a difficult conversation for them. This is especially true if you know that you want a divorce, but you’re not sure that your spouse is on the same page, and they may feel blindsided by your request.
Find the right time
It’s also very important to decide when you want to have this conversation. Try not to bring it up around stressful events when you know that your spouse is busy. For instance, don’t start the divorce conversation if they only have a few minutes before it’s time for one of you to leave for work. Try to find a time when you can have a calm and respectful conversation for as long as necessary.
Try not to place blame
It’s fine if you personally blame your spouse for the divorce. But it may be best not to bring this up during the initial conversation. Doing so just makes them feel like they’re being attacked, and they will get defensive, which often adds conflict to the conversation. Instead, focus on talking about what you want for the future without directly blaming them for the issues in the marriage.
Having the divorce conversation may only be the start of the legal process, so be sure you know exactly what steps to take when filing a divorce petition, attending hearings and much more.