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Talking to the kids about divorce

On Behalf of | Sep 8, 2021 | Blog, Divorce

Divorces often create upheaval in the lives of those who go through them. This is particularly true for the children of divorcing parents. When told the news, kids may have wide-ranging reactions, including feeling various emotions and having a number of concerns.

Making a plan may help parents talk to their children about divorce in a way that causes as little hurt and upset as possible.

Break the news together

According to, when preparing for a divorce, parents may consider talking with their children together. Having both parents there helps reinforce the message that they will both continue to work together for the kids. If parents have multiple children, experts advise telling them all together to avoid them finding out this important news from the siblings that learned the news first.

Avoid the blame game

In trying to explain or wanting their children to know the truth, some parents assign blame when breaking the news of a divorce. Rather, it may benefit their children to maintain a united front in explaining their choices to help avoid making them feel caught in the middle. Giving children details regarding the decisions made does not matter as much as supporting them through this difficult time.

Keep the kids out of the adult stuff

According to, divorcing parents should not share spousal disputes or other such adult concerns with their children as this may adversely affect them. For instance, talking in-depth about their feelings, expressing money worries or otherwise involving their children in adult matters may cause their kids to feel a conflict of loyalty. Instead, experts advise confiding in a friend or meeting with a therapist.

Focusing on their children’s needs as they process and adjust to these types of changes, divorcing parents may help ensure they have bright and healthy futures.