Managing joint custody after divorce is often one of the most challenging parts of the entire process. Particularly if you and your ex-spouse are not on congenial terms, figuring out how to keep the focus on the kids and away from the conflict between you might seem impossible.
However, if you hold your children and joint custody with your ex-spouse, not communicating with him or her is not an option. According to Divorcemag, a good way to improve communicating with your ex-spouse is to treat him or her like a co-worker and talk about nothing but the children.
A good tip is to only communicate through a more professional platform, like email. Particularly if your ex-spouse knows how to push your buttons, limiting contact to written mediums can make things less immediate. In the event that your ex-spouse writes something that makes you angry, with email you can respond later after cooling off.
Keep calm when dealing with your ex-spouse. In the event that your ex-spouse does something outside of what you agreed upon (like dropping the kids off too late, or not picking them up on time), take a deep breath and envision your ex-spouse as a coworker. Just like you would not emotionally unload upon a coworker, do not do this to your ex-spouse.
Focus on the kids
Remember that your marriage is over. The only link between you and your ex-spouse at this point is the children. This means that you do not need to discuss anything with him or her outside of the kids. Keeping your focus on the children is key to minimizing conflict and not reopening old wounds.