White and White Attorneys at Law
White & White Attorney

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Is nesting a good choice for my family?

Unless one parent has a history of addiction or abuse, co-parenting is the most common custody situation after a divorce. There are many reasons why co-parenting is such a popular option, the main one being that kids do best when both parents are actively involved in raising them. This remains true even if the parents divorce.

However, moving children between two households can present several problems. This is why some divorced families are moving toward the idea of nesting. According to Psychology Today, “nesting” is when the children stay in one residence and the parents move in and out based on their custody agreement.

Why should we consider nesting?

Nesting is a good option for families who want to keep their children’s lives as steady as possible. Nesting means that very little will change for your kids, other than the fact that the parents move in and out on a rotating schedule.

Nesting is a good option for families that live in high cost of living areas. Particularly if you will not be able to maintain independent households in the same neighborhood, nesting is a good choice to ensure that your children can stay in the same school district.

What are some negatives?

Effective nesting requires extremely good communication between the parents. If you and your ex-spouse cannot have a conversation without having an argument, it is unlikely that nesting will be a fruitful arrangement.

Additionally, it is likely that you and your ex-spouse will wish to maintain separate permanent residences at some point and not continue supporting the nesting arrangement. Most families who choose nesting do so for a few years at most.