It might not have been evident before you got married, but at some point after your wedding, it became apparent that you married a narcissist. When you decide to finally pull the plug on a no longer tenable marriage, you can also expect your spouse’s narcissistic behavior to increase.
Divorcing a narcissistic spouse may be as tough as it is necessary. They will often use every tool in their considerable arsenals to muddy the waters and delay the process much longer than necessary as a means of retaining control.
You may benefit from counseling during this time to help you keep unfolding events in their proper perspectives. It’s typical for narcissistic parents during a divorce to involve the children. Using threats to fight for full custody with severely limited visitation is a common manipulative tactic for narcissistic parents during a divorce. If the children are affected by these dirty tactics, it’s likely they will also benefit from some counseling sessions.
The problem with narcissists is that they are almost preternaturally good at convincing others that their motivations are pure and that it is instead the other spouse who is acting unreasonably. With Tennessee being a one-party consent state, you may need to covertly record your verbal and face-to-face actions with your narcissistic soon-to-be ex-spouse in order to get the proof you need to show how manipulative they can indeed be.
A narcissist can turn charm off and on like a light switch. Once you have made the decision to divorce, it’s important not to follow them right back down the rabbit hole when they attempt to light up your world with promises they will just as soon abandon. You may need to communicate solely through third-party apps, emails or texts during the pendency of your divorce proceedings — and even after. In some cases, mediation using a neutral third party can help keep the divorce negotiations on track.
