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When not to mediate your divorce

by | Feb 22, 2019 | Divorce Mediation

Mediation is a great tool for divorcing couples to settle all or most of their issues between themselves without the necessity of airing their grievances in court and having their fate determined by a judge.

It’s an efficient way to sever ties, and in many cases, may preserve the parties’ post-divorce relationship and allow them to co-parent far more effectively than they might after an acrimonious divorce that is dragged out in court. Mediation is also a good way for both parties to save on attorney’s fees.

But like with most things in life, there are also drawbacks to mediation. Read on for when it might be wise to skip mediation and head to court.

You want the other person to suffer

Your ex may have spurned you or otherwise hurt you badly. Successful mediation requires the parties to be able to transcend the negative emotions and work together to achieve separate goals. If your goal is to hurt your ex, mediation is not likely to work well.

You don’t (or can’t) self-advocate

Not everyone is a born negotiator, but in mediation, you have to be able to advance your own cause. The mediator — a neutral third-party — does not advocate for either side. Your attorney is your advocate, but you have to be willing to identify and pursue your own interests in mediation.

There was domestic abuse involved

Spousal abuse is about power and control, and it is almost always impossible for the victim of domestic violence to obtain parity in a divorce settlement with the abuser.

Are you wondering if mediation could work for you? Discussing the matter with your Tennessee family law attorney can provide clarity and a clearer path forward to end your union.