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My husband and I fight: Is divorce mediation a good idea?

You've just come out of a tumultuous marriage that involved years of on-and-off fighting. Sometimes the arguments were intense, difficult and ugly. Now that you've filed for divorce, though, you're living in separate houses and a sense of peace and calm has returned to your life.

With your newfound sense of peace, it's understandable that you want your divorce to go as smoothly and stress-free as possible. If you're looking for the easiest kind of divorce in this respect, you will want to arrive at an out-of-court settlement. Reaching an out-of-court settlement will save you time, money and stress.

That said, for couples who constantly fight and can easily get into arguments, obtaining a peaceful resolution might seem like a pipe dream. Even couples who didn't fight during marriage, could find themselves butting heads during the divorce process.

This is where having an experienced family law attorney - who is focused on peaceful resolution - can help. And what about divorce mediation? If you're fighting with your ex-spouse, could it work?

Mediation could still be worth a try

Tennessee divorce mediators are trained to deal with difficult situations. They have special techniques - combined with their natural ability to harmonize - which benefit spouses at the mediation table exponentially. A skilled mediator can cut through spousal tension and keep you focused on what matters most.

A neutral mediator will help help you communicate with your spouse in a way that doesn't flare up old arguments from the past. The mediator will help you and your ex focus on shared goals rather than differences. These goals may include:

  • Saving time, stress and money by avoiding costly litigation.
  • Maintaining peaceful relationship for the benefit of one's children. Parents who peacefully resolve their divorce are protecting their children from the sadness and psychological anguish that comes from parental conflict.
  • Staying in control by not submitting to the decision of a judge. When spouses can work together and come to agreement, they will always be in control of the result.
  • Feeling a sense of satisfaction from the settlement because the parties were able to work together and resolve their differences.
  • Learning new conflict resolution skills that will help spouses resolve potential future disagreements they may encounter.

There's a chance that mediation won't work

Most spouses, even those who argue a lot, can find success through mediation - especially when they have an experienced neutral mediator and knowledgeable attorney by their side. However, it doesn't always work.

Spouses always have the ability to decide whether they will accept the resolution on the table. If the mediation doesn't work, and the parties can't come to out-of-court settlement, then it could be time to litigate the divorce in court. Nevertheless, the potential benefits of mediation are massive, so it may be worth a try in your case.

Are you considering mediation in your divorce?

If you're currently involved in a Tennessee divorce, you may want to talk to your family law attorney about the potential for mediating a divorce settlement in your case. Your lawyer can provide you with insight into what mediation entails, how much the process will likely cost and how to find a suitable mediator for your case.

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